Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Randomize
