I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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