stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize