dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
