this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
Randomize
