Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Randomize
