in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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