I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
