Me. At least after what I've been through.
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
where are you?
Hypothermia
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
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