I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
