they need to just BURY HIM!
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
