i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
