Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Randomize
