So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Randomize