how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
I think I just shit out all my problems.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
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