The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
More tranny stories later!
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
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