i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
