haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize
