How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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