I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
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