remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
she told me i tasted like america
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
So apparently I’m into choking now
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
