Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
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