At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Randomize
