kristin has been a bad kristin
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
Randomize
