i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Randomize
