There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
Randomize
