I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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