if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
