low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Boobs speak an international language.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
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