I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
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