Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Randomize
