I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Randomize
