She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Randomize
