Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
