He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
