i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Randomize
