I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
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