you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
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