I molested 6 butterflies tonight
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
Randomize
