I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
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