peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize