just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
