I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
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