ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
