I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
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