He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
