it wasn't lemon gatorade
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
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