Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
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