just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Randomize
