That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
The best revenge is premature balding
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Vodka?
Forever.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
Randomize
