I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Randomize
