it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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