And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
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