I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Randomize
