these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
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