would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
i out mim tonsoeep
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