Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
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