I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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