i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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