Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
