I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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