if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
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