i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
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